


Anemonastrum

by lilacnightmares



Series: Flowers of Paradise [8]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Bad Ending, Dreams, F/M, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Manipulation, Mental Instability, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reality Bending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27613376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacnightmares/pseuds/lilacnightmares
Summary: She woke up alone in bed and something was incredibly wrong. Her chest pounded and her fingers trembled; The only thought on her mind was where was she and why was Rika looking at her like she belonged here?Based on Saeran's 3rd Bad Ending. A standalone fic that can read without reading any of the other stories in the series.
Relationships: Choi Saeran/Original Character(s)
Series: Flowers of Paradise [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1271537
Kudos: 7





	Anemonastrum

Something wasn’t right. 

She awoke with a start in bed as if something was amiss and wrong. 

Her breathing heavy as the faintest memory of a nightmare lingered on her lips, sweat lined her brow, and her brown eyes felt unfocused in the dark. She was used to the sun pouring into the room but now there was no sun to be seen. She didn’t close the curtains, nor did she remember closing them the night before. 

Lila rubbed her eyes. It wore off some of the exhaustion but it didn’t do much in the way of making her feel like she was alright. Her stomach felt uneasy. Her bed was empty. Her fingers searched through the sheets in hunt of the warmth of her partner and she found nothing. 

No trace of Saeran and no sign of him. 

He never got out of bed in the morning unless she was awake. He never left her side just as she never left his. “Where…?" 

She could feel her nerves start to rise. She looked down at her lap, and that started another uneasy feeling as she couldn’t recognize the bed or the sheets on it. She then looked around the room as she saw and took notice of the decorations. This wasn’t the room they shared in the bunker that belonged to Saeyoung. 

This didn’t look like any of the rooms in the bunker. 

It looked like it had been styled by someone who was tastefully trying to pay homage to the Addams Family and the occult. It was dark, it was dreary, and it reminded her of what she had been drawn to when she was younger before she let herself embrace pink and ribbons as she always wanted. It felt more like something that someone else would design rather than herself. 

She took in the different skulls and macabre style with a grain of salt. 

Okay. She thought, I’m in a room I don’t know. What did I do? Okay. Start from what you remember last and piece it together. We were working on hunting Saeyoung but we hit another dead end once we got to the location and Saeran had to stop. Then what happened? I can’t remember… did we even get home last night? 

Lila had no choice but to leave the bed and try to figure out where she was and how she got there. She couldn’t feel her phone in her pockets nor did she know where it was. She would have to investigate the room to see if it had been left somewhere or if someone had taken it.

Her fingers touched black paint on the dresser and found nothing. Not even dust, which meant that this room was cleaned recently. 

She paused, her eyes flickering to a vase by the end table. It held black roses of all things. Her fingers brushed against the petals and found that they were real, not fake, not dyed. They seemed to be alive despite the lack of sunlight in this sullen room. It wasn't natural. 

They should have withered. 

Who lived in such a place and how did they fare without the sun shining upon them? She couldn’t imagine not having the sun to greet her in the morning. 

Lila had spent too many years in the dark to deny herself the light. Saeran agreed with that sentiment and that was why they both often awoke to the birdsong and sun kissing their cheeks. She smiled as she thought of the way his lips brushed against her cheeks as he tried to kiss every freckle, letting her know that she was an angel kissed by the sun. 

Her heart clenched. 

She needed to find him. 

She narrowed her brows, "What is this place?" 

Where even was this? Why was she here?

She came to pause on the opposing side of the room as she rested near a mirror, about to look at her own reflection but she was stopped by the door opening and light pouring in from the hallway. She rubbed her eyes as the light dug into her retinas and scolded her for being in such a dark place. 

The figure was illuminated by the light, and she couldn’t make out their features. They were short in stature so she knew that it wouldn’t have been a man, not from the way the curls tucked around their face and shoulders that wasn’t tucked away by a ponytail. They were wearing a black dress and she soon realized those curls were blonde. It was a woman. 

The dress was embroidered with gold and silver patterns in the stitching around her neck and had the smallest hint of her chest as the cut opened around it.

She knew that dress just as well as she knew those blonde curls. They belonged to someone that she hadn’t seen in a few months and someone that she’d tried to forget but never could. 

Lila’s breath caught in her throat. 

It was Rika. 

Rika was standing in front of her and she had her cornered in a room. God, was it her room?

She took a step back and tried not to trip and fall on her ass. She sank to the ground, voice failing her as she stared helplessly at the woman who once held her life in her hands

She pressed her fingers to the wall as she watched and waited with bated breath to see what the woman would do. Lila could never forget Rika nor was she sure she ever would. 

How could anyone forget someone that struck unease into your heart? How could she forget when Saeran would never forget? She was there at his side when he woke up from nightmares and tried to help him understand that they weren’t in Mint Eye and that she was safe, and that he was safe.

So many nights haunted by this devil and so many nights spent fearing that she could never help Saeran move past his fear. 

How was she with Rika? What happened? Did she get drugged or knocked out? God, if that was the case she needed to find Saeran and get them out fast. She wasn’t a hacker but she knew how to run and she could run fast. She didn't want to live in this again. 

Suddenly, it felt like no matter what the answer was, it didn’t matter, all she knew was she was with Rika now and that was the last place that she ever wanted to be. 

The fear must have been obvious because Rika chuckled at the pathetic look in Lila’s eyes. 

"Nightmares, again?” Rika questioned, her face looking far more friendly than she remembered ever receiving. “Was it about your sister, dear? I’ve told you many times… you’re stronger than she ever will be and you don’t need to concern yourself with those begotten people. You’ve earned your place as my precious sister." 

Lila blinked, utterly perplexed. She opened her mouth to question how she knew that but was cut off when Rika walked forward. Her high heels clicked against the ground until she came to a halt in front of Lila. She held out a hand for the brunette and Lila just looked at it. 

"What?" 

What game was she trying to play here? 

They weren’t sisters, they never would be sisters. 

"It’s cute to see this side of you come out,” Rika took a hold of her hands anyway. She helped her stand up without even a second thought. “You command with beauty and grace with your devil to all those that need your stern hand. Yet, a simple nightmare will make you so skittish. That’s why I’m happy to share my guidance with you. Your reign only grows stronger, as does mine, when we learn to use those feelings of fear and anxiety as righteous justice." 

Lila felt too caught up in her emotions to say anything. Rika always had this power to make you question yourself and she didn’t want to incur her anger or wrath when she didn’t have a good sense of what was happening. She was acting like Lila was her family, her friend, or something, and all she knew was nothing was connecting. 

What was she talking about? 

Was this a game? 

Was she trying to trick her? 

Rika gestured forward and Lila knew what she was asking. 

She sat down at the desk next to the mirror and kept quiet, trying not to make matters worse. If she wasn’t playing the cruel leader of a cult yet, so, she wanted to keep it that way until she knew for sure where she was trapped with Rika. She and Saeran had tried to look back into Mint Eye after they had settled down to see what had happened when they left. 

There had been no sign of Rika… or any of the believers. It wasn’t a good sign but there was nothing that they could do about it. It was bad enough they were dealing with the Prime Minister, but they didn’t have the time to tell Jumin and the others about that. Saeran didn’t think they went to any of the hideouts that she had been putting together. 

So, they quietly both assumed that everyone had just… left.

Rika would’ve lost all her power and the last that Saeran saw, she had collapsed and seemingly given up on everything. It was possible that she wasn’t going to keep things going. There was no sign of V, either, but there was no proof that he had gone to see her. 

So, how had she found Saeran and Lila and why did she take them? Were they working with the Prime Minister? Or, was it something different? 

Lila had to keep her cool as Rika began to brush out her hair, a hum behind her lips. Her touch was very gentle. It surprised Lila. Rika had never been kind, she had been sweetly sick with venom on her lips but never kind. It felt jarring to have the woman look at her like this and treat her as a friend. 

That was when she took a moment to glance in the direction of the mirror and see her reflection. It didn’t look right. It didn’t look like… herself.

"...!" 

She had to bite back a gasp as she saw herself but it didn’t look like herself in the slightest. It couldn't be her, she thought. It shouldn't be her. 

Her eyes looked tired and they’d lost their luster. Her curls were all but gone away, her hair straightened and freshly cut bangs falling in front of her eyes just enough to keep them hidden lest she lifted her head. It was like she was a different person entirely.

Rika didn’t seem bothered by the look in her eyes, or the way she 'admired' herself. 

“You’re not usually late to our meetings,” Rika commented, idly. “I wondered what had gotten you so distracted. I suppose I was right to come and check on you. Here I thought you were spending your time scolding your little prince. I was worried for nothing.” 

“Uh,” Lila managed to get one word out edgewise to gain focus. “Forgive me for asking, but what’s on the schedule for today?” 

She needed to adapt to this and learn what she could as soon as possible. 

Rika paused, “Tsk, tsk. We must do something about you today, shouldn’t we? You’re out of sorts. Today is the anniversary of our ascension, my dear. It’s been six months since you joined us and you’ve made such wonderful progress. It would be wrong to not celebrate our growing plans. After all, you’re the one that’s given me the guaranteed success of our paradise.” 

Ascension? 

Like, to a throne? 

Lila watched as the blonde set down the brush on the table and clasped her hands together. She nodded in approval of her looks and looked in the direction of the closet. “Do get dressed and meet me in the throne room when you are prepared for the day. Reflect on your despair and channel it into your rage. I can’t wait to see what the day brings us.” 

Shared power? 

What in the world was happening? 

Lila watched as Rika patted her shoulder in the mirror and left the room without another word. It felt wrong and violating.

There was no choice for her but to do what she was told to do. She rushed across the room to check the window. Looking out the window only rewarded her the view of a mountain that she hadn’t seen in months.

Her blood ran cold as she walked into the closet and stared at the fabric. The closet was no better at all for her mind. She got dressed methodically and very quickly out of her nightgown and just paused in front of the mirror once more in the closet, rather then going back into the room. 

She saw herself again but it didn't look like the Lila Lancelot that she knew. 

She was seeing a woman who looked… to be filled with contempt. She raised a hand to her face and frowned. This dress didn’t feel like something that she would wear, either. It was black, and while the headpiece was ornate and covered in colors, it didn’t feel right. She hadn’t worn something gothic since she had been a preteen.

Yet, here she was, a tired gothic lolita who looked ready to bite. She wasn't like this. She was a sweet lolita who had only recently learned how to use her voice. 

Where was the pink and red that she had allowed herself to become accustomed to? She would have been alright with Saeran’s sweater over her shoulders too, if she needed to wear anything, but nothing like this. The clothes, just like her hair, felt odd and out of touch. 

Rika was talking as if Lila had never left Mint Eye and as if she had… willingly started working with them for some reason. She never would have done that. Had Rika offered anything like that when they were here? She couldn't recall. She tried to deny everything that the blonde said without listening. 

Lila had done everything she could to leave this place until Saeran made it possible for them to leave this place. So, why was she in the mountains again? Why was Rika here? Where was Saeran? What was happening and why did it feel like she was missing something? 

"Saeran," she breathed, the horror setting into her guts. "No."

If she was here... then that meant...! 

Lila left that dark and lonely room as soon as she could, finding herself walking the halls that she had once known and learned for her safety. There were believers throughout the building and they bowed their heads and quickly hurriedly out of her sight whenever she made eye contact. It was like they were scared of her or something. 

She tried to ignore it and walk faster but it only made the problem worse. 

The believers had never thought much of her, not as far as she knew, many of them had been angry that she had been allowed to stay without drinking the elixir for so long but that was all she knew of many of them. They all obeyed their queen and since Lila was against their queen, it only made sense for them not to like her too. 

She didn’t like that feeling that ran down her spine as people saw her and looked away. 

Lila was just a girl that barely stood taller than five feet tall. She was timid, shy, and too quiet for her good. Nobody could have been scared of her in her eyes. She was about as frightening as a pink cupcake. Then again, she thought back to what Rika had said to her about them sharing power, and suddenly, those dangerous words felt like they had weight to them. 

If everyone was scared of her, then she had done something… or something had changed to make people think she wasn’t weak. She pushed open the doors to the main chamber and walked inside to find that Rika was indeed waiting for her at the head of the room. There were two chairs where there was once one chair. 

It implied that Rika wasn’t ruling Mint Eye alone. Her stomach flopped. Who was ruling this place with her then? 

Her fingers trembled at her side as she approached the woman, feeling like she was having an out of body experience as the believers bowed their heads and ducked out of the room. She paused right as she stood in front of Rika, but the blonde beckoned the forward. Lila had no choice but to stand at her side as someone appeared from the shadows. 

Why was she standing here next to Rika? 

“Good of you to join us on time, Saeran,” Rika spoke with a simple smile on her face. “I expect that you’ve learned your lesson from last time?” 

Lila’s eyes widened and she stood there frozen as Saeran came from the shadows, his eyes exhausted and his shoulders slugged as he sank to his knees in front of them and bowed his head to them, to the both of them. “Yes, I have learned my lesson, my queen, forgive me.” 

Lila didn’t see it, but Rika’s lips had curled into an amused smirk. “It’s not me that you should beg for forgiveness from, Saeran. You should direct your blatant acts of disrespect and idiocy to her, given you were the one that upset her in the first place. Maybe she’ll humor you, you know she’s always just a bit too soft on you.” 

He had done something wrong? Saeran could never do anything to upset her! Her heart started to race wildly, and Lila began to think: No, no, no, don’t look at me, don’t look at me, don’t look at me. 

Saeran lifted his head and despite her internal protests, he looked right at her, and her crumbled into pieces as if she was living her worst nightmare. He looked as if someone had crushed his heart and soul into pieces and stomped on the pieces so they could never connect again. His eyes were worn with rings of purple and his skin white as a sheet. 

He looked tired and that was all she could allow herself to think without the bile in her throat growing any stronger. He was barely holding himself together and all she could think about was how she could not stand the sight of his agony. He looked… she wanted to shut her eyes but she couldn’t, it was her world was running slowly and her mind was running too fast. 

It was too much. 

It hurt to see him in pain. 

Saeran hadn’t looked this worn down when they were trapped at the end.

This was a different kind of exhaustion. This was worse. He was barely holding himself together and yet, no matter how tired he was, he kept his body upright. She had known that he would do anything… anything for the people that made him feel wanted and at that moment—

It felt like she was the source of his suffering. 

Guilt and fear controlled her body. 

A hand brushed against Lila’s shoulder and she didn’t even notice until Rika leaned in next to her ear and whispered so softly, “Have some fun. Reclaim your inner devil and join me once you’ve collected your thoughts. I’ll let no one disturb you… no matter how much he begs.” 

“…!” 

The laughter that followed those words left Lila too stunned to responded. 

They were left alone rather quickly, and Lila shook the shock from her face and rushed to his side, sinking down to her knees in front of him, fingers brushing against his cheeks to get him to look at her directly. He nearly recoiled from her touch and a gasp left his lips as he was waiting for a slap or worse, but he didn’t get it. 

“Saeran,” her voice cracked in her throat. “What happened to you?” 

Saeran’s mint eyes widened briefly but then they settled back into a line.

He bit his lower lip and sucked it underneath his front row of teeth before he tore his gaze from hers. There was no response at first from him, just silence. ”…“

Lila’s fingers were still trembling against his skin, scared to let him go on the off chance that he would disappear and shrivel away from the rest of the world. "Saeran, my darling, please. I need to understand what’s happening.”

“Haven’t we played this game enough?” was the whisper that came escaped him.

“…What?”

Saeran didn’t lift his head but he did continue, “I can’t play this game, my queen. I can’t. Please, I am sorry I upset you but don’t… don’t do this to me. I will do anything you ask. Just… don’t make me hope for something that can never be.”

She was no queen.

She didn’t want this.

Lila shook her head, incredulous. “I don’t… I don’t understand. I’m not playing a game… I promise. Saeran, why are we here? I’m really lost. What on earth happened? Why are you doing this? Why is she acting like I'm her partner?" 

He looked at her, really looked at her, as if she was his sun, his moon, and his stars, but not in a true way. It was purely from fear and she could see it. She had only seen him look at Rika in that way and to see him regard her with such unease made her feel sick.

Pieces of the puzzle had started to connected and she wanted to scream.

No, she repeated in her head. No. 

“Please,” his voice was desperate. His hands trembled as he lifted them to hover over her own but he didn’t touch her hands. “Don’t do this to me. I deserve it. I know. I hurt you by playing this game with you. Punish me if it makes you happy but don’t make me think you’re.. you’re… you’re not the princess anymore. You’re my queen, you made your choice. Let me make you happy, let me make you happy forever by servicing you, but do not make me relive those moments of the past.”

Lila recoiled, “No, no, no, no, this isn’t… this isn’t our life. This isn’t us. We were free, free from this place, living together on the outside and building a life out there together-”

Lila could feel her eyes welling up with tears as he begged and pleaded with her as if she owned his life. Her breathing started to accelerate in its stead and the hum of static started to swell in her panic. She questioned everything she had ever done.

Had she dreamed the past six months?

Was everything all a dream? 

Did she really agree to join Rika?

Had she broken the only person she ever loved for power?

Was she truly a monster?

Had she deluded herself in a dream to think that she was free and he was free?

Had her mind created that delusion? Her hands fell from his face and she stared at him, the bile in her throat biting like a wildfire that would never die out. 

“This is our life, I’m not allowed to imagine such things outside of this.” Saeran’s broken voice said against her dread. His tired eyes haunting her like a ghost. “So, let me make it perfect for you now, my queen, let me make you happy here in your paradise so you may know peace. It’s all I’m good for. There was never any future for me on the outside and you knew it. So, you’ve given me a purpose… and I will fulfill it until the day I die. I only ask you… to not give me hope and crush it away.”

She was a monster.

She was the monster. 

## And the only thing Lila could do in that moment was scream.


End file.
